There comes a time in everybody’s life when you feel like you are walking a tightrope and having to put all your energy and focus in staying balanced and not falling 40 feet to the ground. I recently experienced this when I stepped down from my job as Director at the Boys and Girls Clubs in order to fervently go after my passion which is to teach balance and facilitate intuition opening for adults and children in a spa retreat like setting.

Voila, I found myself in a situation where I needed to have some good nets to keep me from being scooped off the ground by a human sized spatula. Fortunately, I found myself in a situation where I had 4 jobs offered and a chance to choose which path to take.

In life, you will always be faced with choices. And more than a few times, you will find yourself perplexed and tearing your hair out over what steps you should take next on your path to the right decision for yourself.
So here’s a bit of advice for you that I made up which I’ve used for many big decisions and now I’d like to share it with you!

*Note: this exercise can be applied no matter what decision you’re making*

Tammy’s Circus Tool
Applied to: Job selection

Let’s imagine that you are trying to make a choice between two job opportunities (this can also apply to relationships, travel choices, etc.) that you have.

1) Get clear on your options and assign a letter to each one. Ex: Job A is an assistant job, Job B is a teaching job and Job C is a dog walker job.
2) Close your eyes and assign a role to each job (or choice) you’re considering. There are only two roles to choose from. ONE job has you walking on a tightrope, the other job has you falling on a net relaxed and rested. If you have more than two options then pick out ONE tightrope job and two nets. In either case, you should always have one tightrope option and one net left at the end of your “role allocating”.

So, let’s say I have job options of being a yoga instructor, camp director and sales manager.
Sales Manager =Tight rope job. Yoga instructor and Camp Director=NETS. But, if I only want one job then, I narrow my field down even more. And do the exercise again,giving roles to yoga instructor and camp director..where camp director is my tightrope and yoga instructor is my net.

3) In your mind’s eye, everything will fall into place right away and give you your answer! The Tightrope job is going to require a lot of focused energy from you and leave you exhausted and out of balance. Whereas the Net job will leave you rested, relaxed and balanced meaning that your STRENGTHS will be mixed with your PASSIONS and thus require the least amount of energy while delivering the highest amount of reward!

Have fun with this and remember that that life’s too short not to enjoy!! Bring on the clowns I say!!!

So first of all please accept my apologies. I realize that my blogs have been few and far between but ironically I actually have a balanced life to thank for that. With my wedding coming up in May and planning the curriculum for TIME OUT RETREAT for kids with the Boys and Girls Clubs, I am well on my way to “having it all”. Now, what does that mean for you? Well, it means dear reader that sadly I’ve put a pause button to the launch of my e-book, knowing that it will require a lot of my focus to germinate the seed and give it water to grow.

However, I promise to have it downloadable and ready to go by the end of February 2010. If you want a sneak preview of what the e-guide’s about—-please read below!

WE HUMAN BEINGS HAVE 7 SPECIFIC NEEDS THAT NEED TO BE MET IN ORDER TO FUNCTION AT OUR HIGHEST CAPACITY (I.E. OPERATE AS THE LIVING BEING IS DESIGNED TO OPERATE).
FILLING THOSE 7 NEEDS PRODUCES PROSPERITY, PLEASURE, HEALTH AND HAPPINESS. AS A BALANCE TRAINER ℠, I PROVIDE THE KNOWLEDGE AND TOOLS FOR FILLING THOSE BIOLOGICAL NEEDS AND HELPING YOU TO TAKE CONTROL AND DESIGN A LIFE OF BALANCE AND SUCCESS. 7 DAYS TO BALANCE CAN BE THOUGHT OF AS AN EASY TO READ E-GUIDE/TOOL KIT THAT COMBINES ALL THE INFO WITH WHICH I REGULARLY TRAIN BUSINESS PROFESSIONALS,CELEBRITIES, MOMS, SCHOOL AGED CHILDREN (ADAPTED VERSION) AND MORE.

Please stay tuned!

Wishing you a life of BALANCE & PEACE-

Tamara

Hi everyone! Sorry to have fallen off the planet for a short while but I thought that this would be a good forum to let y’all know that I just got engaged this weekend to the man of my dreams! I’ve never been happier in my life. But, like most girls …I too have had my share of hard relationships that I had to go through before finding the one that fit like a glove.

A good relationship with another human being begins first by being built on a foundation where
you have a good relationship with yourself first. What was different about me before going into this relationship with my fiancé Mac is that I fell in love with myself before he and I even met.
In my teens and in my twenties, I was too busy trying to be what others wanted me to be. This took a lot of energy and often I ended up in relationships with people that others wanted me to be with. Not a good foundation for a relationship of your dreams, right? Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to get all fairytale on you and force the “happily ever after” promise pills down your throats. Personally, it’s that “happily ever after” that really kind of messes us girls up. We think that as soon as we find a flaw in a guy that he must be broken and not capable of giving us that forever and ever feeling of happiness.

But, the truth is that happiness and confidence begins inside of YOU. You’re the only one who can create that. No one outside of you is going to give you that. You already got it. Once you realize it, life becomes so much easier. Now, I know it’s not always easy to create feelings inside of you. But, that’s where yoga comes in. I‘m so passionate about teaching yoga because of the very nature of what yoga gives people. It allows them to create their own feelings of peace, happiness and calm.

Maybe, you’re in a relationship right now? Maybe, you’re not but are eager to have a good relationship with a parent, sibling, colleague or a friend. Try this chanting exercise and feel your heart open up in a way that will feel make you feel like one of my kids at the Boys and Girls Club (where I teach) said to me after doing it…
“I feel like giving presents to everyone!” 

Sit in easy pose with your legs crossed. Make a heart shape with your index fingers and thumbs and hold that hand pose in front of your heart. Close your eyes and hum “Har” over and over again while you visualize your own heart getting bigger and bigger as you shed love and light onto yourself till it overflows and gets so big that it can only move outward onto other people. Do this for 5 minutes and then inhale deeply. Hold for five seconds and release.

Today, I’d like to talk about friendship and what exactly it means to me. Okay so I know it’s kind of funny that here I am talking about friendship and I’ve chosen to start my article off with a picture of two horses side by side but there’s a rhyme to my reason. What comes to mind when you think about friendship? Maybe, it’s having someone to talk to on the phone till 1a.m or having someone to cry to when your heart gets broken as it can tend to get in this life. To me, friendship is one of the most beautiful things we have in life if you find the right kind of friends.

And it all comes down to one word, “needs”. You might be asking yourself, “What needs”? When I was growing up, nobody taught me that it was okay to have needs. All I learned from watching my parents and peers was that in order to be liked, you have to make sure others are always happy and pleased. Going to church didn’t help matters much because I pretty much interpreted the bible to mean that it was selfish to care about your own needs. Disclaimer! I’m NOT saying this was the right interpretation but it was just mine…coming from a limited perspective. Nobody and I mean nobody told me that it was okay to have needs and not only okay but important to voice them.

So this is where the analogy of the horses comes in…and by the ways was inspired after a conversation I had with a good friend who’s a horse trainer/healer. If someone asks: Hey HORSIE, what do you need today to feel comfortable? It would neigh back to you in horse language the equivalent of “water”, “hay”, “attention” “grooming” or “exercise”. I know it’s pretty silly that I have to use horses as an example but for some reason it just makes sense to our minds that a horse has needs. And the fact that they don’t speak English (or whatever our native tongue may be), is what gets us to step back and empathize with them to guess what their needs are. Sometimes, I feel like we believe animals to be more deserving to get their needs met than we do ourselves. Well, we’re humans and have the same kinds and even more!

A good friend can be hard to find but once you do, you hold on to them throughout your life. It’s somebody who encourages you to be your best self by allowing you not only to identify what your needs are but communicate them as well. Life will not serve you if you go through it as a door mat. Trust me. I (and many of my friends) tried that route and failed. So please learn from my mistakes and get clued in on your needs early.

To be a good friend, get clued in on your friends’ needs too. Does your best friend seem sad today? Ask him/her what he/she needs from you. Are you in a relationship with someone who’s disrespected you? Tell him/her what you need from him/her in order to feel safe.

It’s perfectly perfect to have needs. Don’t feel guilty for having them! You’re only human

Tips for today!

Keep a “Needs” journal. And share it with a buddy who has one too. Every day, at the end of your day, ask yourself how you feel and where you feel somebody didn’t give you what you need. Then, think of a situation where somebody did give you what you need. Then, jot down activities or places you went that made you happy. Did you sleep enough that day?
Did you eat a balanced diet? Make a list of positives and negatives of the day. Soon enough, you’ll start to identify what it is exactly that makes you feel good and what makes you feel bad. Have a Journal night where you and your buddy exchange lists every week and keep the other accountable to what their needs are and to make sure that they are confident enough to stick to the belief that they deserve to have their needs met.

Good luck! And talk to you next time …

When I was a kid, I always loved the fairytale story of Hansel and Gretel. And every time I heard the story which my dad narrated from memory, I always got freaked when the two siblings decide to throw bread down on the ground to retrace their steps back home instead of stones.

I knew that was the part in the story where the birds would eat the bread and little Hansel and Gretel would get lost in the woods. But that is also when the fun part begins with the whole house made of candy and all the fun stuff they got to do.

Ever since I can remember, I loved being creative always knew I wanted to be a writer and write stories like the ones I heard before I went to bed as a child. The word “creating” is such a general word. It can mean so many things. Some people hear the word and they think of a painting. Some hear it and they think of a beautiful 3 course meal. Others think of giving birth and the list goes on. Me? I think of the adventure of life itself.

I have always chosen to live my life as the adventure I knew (and know) it to be. To do that, I wrote it out in my imagination just like a story. I cast myself in the roles I thought I wanted to take the lead in, landing jobs and boyfriends that I thought would fit my character I had chosen.

But the realization I had recently is that even though I thought I was writing out this grand adventure for myself, in truth I was just like Hansel and Gretel, leaving breadcrumbs along my path to insure I’d never get lost and still find a way back home. In leaving the bread crumbs, I never fully lived in any of those moments. I spent too much time looking backwards, making sure the steps were not too far from home so that I couldn’t see the crumbs anymore.

And you know what? I got lost. Very lost. And getting lost was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. Finding myself afraid and confused, the forest taught me the lesson of faith. Faith is the nourishment and water that gives life to every seed. Every tree in the forest, every painting, every book, and every person is a living manifestation of faith. So, start to live your life like a Van Gogh, a Da Vinci and a Picasso! The moment we give up control is when life has the chance to turn into our personal artistic masterpiece!

Ever feel like you’re the star of your very own movie? Well, that’s cause you are. Only, your mind is the director!

Living in LA LA land for the past 15 years, I’ve had many friends who are actors (who doesn’t here?) and the common thing I see is that an actor is at the mercy of the director. It is the director’s vision that will be communicated through the vessel of the actor.

Well, in many ways, we can think of our FEELINGS as the ACTORS in our movie.

In ancient greek theater, Thespis was the first writer, who used a mask for the actors to portray a role because with masks, the audience would judge the character based on a universal theme and not by appearance.

I tend to think of my emotions as actors. If the director tells SAD to come onto the scene. SAD will play it’s part according to what the director creates. We create our life scene by scene. And our mind dictates how we feel. Read the rest of this entry »

Many of us go through life, dissatisfied with our romantic relationships. We get this promise of “Happily Ever After” stuck in our noggins and that promise is like the prison walls in the Alcatraz. We find ourselves stuck inside of them with no way out!

The reality is that men and women are both disillusioned. However, interestingly enough it’s in different ways. After doing some research, I discovered that the reason behind the disenchantment really comes down to this. Men expect women to behave like men (logic-based,hunters) yet portray the soft feminine qualities that they yearn for in a woman. And women expect men to behave like women (sensitive, attentive, emotional) but strong and protective. Read the rest of this entry »

Faith always loses the battle with Fear! Those were the lines that I heard at the end of my dream I had the other night. Do you ever dream in a movie type fashion? Well, I do and last night Rachel Weisz was playing the lead character and she was partnered with Ryan Reynolds. She was upset because they just planned this huge event and nobody showed up and Ryan looks over at her and says, “See I told you no one would come”. And she says, “Of course nobody came. Why would they? All this time, I’ve had faith and believed that they would but your doubt overruled my belief!”

This got me to thinking about my own life. I’ve always been a dreamer and have had this unwavering belief in the magic of life and that things turn out as you want them to. Yet, looking back I’ve seen that the times I failed at something, there had been seeds of doubt/fear planted in my consciousness either by a partner or by a circumstance. Whatever the case was, faith lost the battle to fear.

Being present to the 7 chakras and their power is that you start to organize your life better, become more self-aware and find that you have constant access to an “inner knowing” .

One thing that is very obvious to me is the role that the BATTLE between FAITH and FEAR has in getting us in balance.

Here’s a visualization tool that I invented to help balance myself that I’d love to share with you!

As your eyes are closed, picture 7 potted flowers sitting side by side in a row. Each pot corresponds to
an energy center and has a flower growing out it. On the side of the pot, a label is glued on and you can see a single word on that pot.

Ex:
First chakra- SURVIVAL
Second chakra-SENSUALITY
Third chakra-POWER
Fourth chakra-LOVE
Fifth Chakra-SELF-EXPRESSION
Sixth Chakra-INTUITION
Seventh chakra-CONNECTION

In each pot, there is a weed of DOUBT growing next to the flower. In your hand, you are carrying a magic watering can filled with the water of BELIEF. Breathing long and deep, walk over to each pot and pluck the weed while watering the flower.

When you’re finished,look at the row of flowers, breathe in and mentally say the word SAT. Exhale saying the word NAM. When you inhale at SAT make sure to count to 6 and visualize all 6 energy centers. Then, when you get to NAM, visualize the 7th energy center and release.

Sat Nam translates to ” I am truth”.
Now, go forth and harvest some balance!

In my introduction to yogic knowledge, I was fascinated to find out about the three Gunas. What are the Gunas you ask? Great question. Well in basic terms they are the three “characteristics” of energy in the mind and in the universe. They are divided into three classifications; Rajas, Tamas and Sattva. All of us have a bit of all three qualities and depending on the prevalence of one particular one, that’s usually how we can describe our personalities.

• Rajas means restless, stressful, dynamic and active

• Tamas means inert, lazy, dull and lethargic

• Sattva means balanced, harmonious, pure and calm

All in all, yogis strive for balance. For me in particular, I have a tough time with that. My personality tends to lean towards the Rajas side. I am constantly in the habit of trying to squeeze too many things into a short length of time! And it takes its toll on me.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who suffers from that. In fact, I think this tends to be an American phenomenon considering we feel like we’re defined by what we PRODUCE instead of who we ARE.  Well to slow myself down, I just decrease my Rajas and increase my Sattva. What do I mean by that? Well, whenever I notice that I’m in a Rajas state of mind, I just slow myself down and visually picture putting the breaks on whatever I’m doing.

I breathe and meditate, reminding myself that where I am in that moment is all I need to be and there’s no end result that can ever convince me that I am perfect . And then, I step outside and sit down, look at my bougainvillea flowers, take a deep breath as I take in the perfect balance of nature and remember that the moment that I’m finding myself in that minute is perfection itself.
That usually works for me. Now, you try it!

Mantra comes from the root word “manas” which means “mind” and “tool”. When you expose yourself to the power of vibrating sounds, you can understand their effects. The repetition of the vibration of various mantras can help you tune into the different frequencies of energy in the universe in order to effect and transform energy on the plane of consciousness.

Each “energy center” in our body a.k.a. “chakra” has a specific base sound that can be used to balance that energy center. Ready for what they are?

1. Root (located at perineum)- Lam (luhm)

2. Sacral (located in the sex organs)-Vam (vuhm)

3. Solar Plexus (located at navel)-Ram (ruhm)

4. Heart (located in heart area)-Yam (yuhm)

5. Throat (located in throat)- Ham (huhm)

6. *Third Eye (located at spot just above the area between the eyebrows)-Kesham

*This center opens once the lower energy centers are balanced**

7. Crown (located at the crown of the head)-Om

Most of us are out of balance in one of the chakras on a regular basis. A good practice is to regularly chant the mantras for the corresponding energy center for a good two minutes per center. At the end of the fourteen minutes, you will feel a general state of calm and peace. Now go forth and be..BALANCED! Oh yeah, and don’t forget to have fun..